I have been in Bali – Island Of The Gods – for 59 days… Tomorrow is day sixty and I fly back to New Zealand. I must admit to feeling a little apprehensive. I feel like so much has changed… what if no one recognises me upon my return? What if my own mother walks past me in the street with nary a blink of the eye? Obviously that is not going to happen!! the changes, such as they are, are internal, not external. But, what if the changes change once I am back in Aotearoa?? I don’t want them to. What if I return to my wise-cracking, cynical self, quick with a disparaging remark and sharp, sometimes acid, tongue?? I want to retain the calm and sense of karma that I feel I have found during my time here. At least a little of it!
It is oh-so-easy to be philosophical and zen-like while on your own in a place like this but, what about when faced with the stress and time-pressures inherent with our western life?? Arrrrgggghhh!!! I feel anxious already!!
I have had so many wonderful experiences; met some interesting people, seen some interesting sights. Most of them amazing, some not so great. The good, the bad and the ugly are everywhere in this world. I have learnt painting skills and techniques as well as a drop of philosophy and patience from Nyoman Suarsa, my art teacher and friend. I have learnt that I am kinder than I thought I was. I have learnt that I have more to offer than I thought I did. I don’t say this in a proud way, honestly, it humbles me! I have learnt that I am not the hard bitch I thought I was, either! Surprise, surprise! Although, don’t mess with me without being prepared for the consequences either! 🙂
I was blessed to spend a week with my favourite daughter – too brief – and a fortnight with my current-ex-husband – a bit too long (semi joking!! 🙂 )
I have made some extraordinary friendships that will continue long into the years ahead.
And now – back to the future…..
Well, I genuinely feel my life direction has changed. At 49 I feel that my priorities have finally settled and my vision cleared. Thanks, in no small way, to my aforementioned decision to stop guzzling alcohol on a daily and copious basis. Eight and a half months I have now been teetotal…. Almost the gestation time for a human baby. Speaking of which…
My favourite son, Jesse, and his lovely Lucy, have informed me that they are expecting their second little bundle of gorgeousness in March. I plan to join them early in the new year for mandatory Nana duties and help ‘down on the farm’. Feeling blessed and excited about this!
Also, a good friend is about to open a funky and amazing antique and collectable store in Whangarei; CowboyJunkies and I am going to help out there and get a quirky, gorgeous Cafe open to complement his shop… Keep your eyes peeled for Sweet Jane Cafe, coming soon!
I will continue to paint… I feel that I have found my style and a good degree of confidence which I will continue to build on, maybe that joint exhibition we spoke about soon, Margaret Wright??
Come July/August next year, my intention is to head back to Ubud, rent a villa for four – six months, maybe on a shared basis (open to offers!) Paint and gather some beautiful clothing pieces to sell in NZ. I have made a great contact with a lovely woman who will sew garments from samples for me. She works from home while juggling the needs of a busy family (she has three young girls (husband wants a boy!) . This is an opportunity to make a difference in their lives (and mine).
So, you see Ali Wilford, I really may become the next female nomad!!! Thanks for your encouragement and belief… Can’t wait to catch up!x
Ooohhhh, feeling so much better at the end of this blog post than I was at the beginning!
OK, I gotta go, the sun is out and I have some exploring to do!
Talk soon xx